galacticdad: growing up means realizing a lot of your old friends are assholes
I’m mature and grown up and I’ve been in a solid relationship for over a year but I still get nervous when girls I crushed on in high school talk to me.
vegan-because-fuck-you: “Walk around in a short skirt and you are asking to get raped, it’s instinct. It’s like throwing meat in a shark tank and telling them not to eat it” the apologists say. The activists breathe a collective sigh, “YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING SHARK” they scream. “Good luck with that” said the vegan “We’ve been trying to convince them they aren’t lions for years now.”
initiala: A little girl in my 4th grade class came up to me after recess and said, “I got married at recess!” and I said “Oh? I didn’t know anyone was ordained under the age of twelve.” and she asked me what ordained meant and I explained and then she said “Oh, well, no, my wife and I were married by the slide, but we’ll be happy together anyway.” So apparently on school playgrounds, slides are...
iamtonysexual: jonandtheon: jonandtheon: jonandtheon: MY BOOK IS LOCKED IN A CLASSROOMN RED ASLERT I TOLD THIS REALLY NICE KID WHO NEVER CAUSES TROUBLE AND HEREACHED INTO HIS BACKPACK AND PULLED OUT A KEYCHAIN WITH KEYS TO THE CLASSROOM AND UNLOCKED IT FOR ME?? update i asked him why he had those keys and he said “its not important” im so lost He’ll be vital to your quest later,...
betterdaysrec: For the past month or so, I have been thinking about exactly what I wanted to say in this post. First off I want to say thank you to anyone who has ever supported this label in anyway because without any of you this dream of mine would have never gone anywhere. Second thing I would like to say is thank you to all the bands we have been able to work with past and present. Some of...
hippyjamfest: “I want to join your hardcore band but my mom wants to talk to your mom first”
confusedtree: You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals so let’s have no choice but to eat the weakest of our young during the harsh winter months
doglets: sext: sorry just got this text haha. do u still have a boner?
praisethewarmachine: how many times do i have to fucking say this: SOUTH PARK DOESN’T DECIDE WHAT WORDS DO AND DON’T HURT PEOPLE LOUIS CK DOESN’T DECIDE WHAT WORDS DO AND DON’T HURT PEOPLE IF YOU THINK ITS MORE IMPORTANT TO BE ABLE TO SAY CERTAIN WORDS THAN IT IS TO NOT HURT PEOPLE, YOU ARE A BAD PERSON
soselfimportant: 4:35 Blaze it sorry traffic was crazy